It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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