Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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