My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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