is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
