Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
