nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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