Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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