He kissed a someone with a penis
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
