Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
so much tequila, so little girl.
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