Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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