I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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