Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
