a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
