i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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