barbara walters just said penis...
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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