they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
