Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
