I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
