my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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