I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
