Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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