I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Randomize
