And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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