i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
