Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
