Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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