I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I need a burrito and a hug.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
That's how pantless uber rides happen
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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