why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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