You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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