Plan B is the new Plan A
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
