i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
