Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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