I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Congratulations! We have a period
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