Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
