the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize