That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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