I CAN MOONWALK!
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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