you guys were way drunker than both of me
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize