At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
