don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
