I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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