Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
