Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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