she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
