i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
we're making bets on your personal life
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
