Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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