Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
