I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
