Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
