We're like a lot better than the average bears
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
