i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
