watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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