i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
