Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize