We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
