just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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