I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
