I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize