Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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