everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize